Tuesday, June 1st, 2010, “Searching Outside Of The Family For Similar Values”, Crane High School, Aunt Betty and my conflicts continue!
Ernest and I made the junior varsity team as freshmen at Crane High School. That same year “Heavy” was a senior and one of our local legends. Heavy’s original position was guard but he was an intelligent player who understood all of the positions extremely well. The team that year was full of great senior guards; Nate Williams, Donald Brown, Patrick Hazelwood and James Jackson. Heavy played center that year. That year the varsity team made it to the Illinois State Basketball Tournament. We called it “going down state” when a public team from the city made it to the state tournament.
All of the teams made it down state had to endure extreme amounts of competition from other schools in the city and from other regions. If your team made it out of its region by playing other city schools, then it had to go to the sectionals and then super-sectionals. Then your team was battle tested and ready for the big show down state against the state’s best.
Ernest and I didn’t get much playing time during our freshmen year while on JV but we were just happy to be on the team. There were so many other negative activities available to young men in K-Town. The pull to join a gang, sell drugs was strong for so many. It was all around us daily but basketball and my family was a sanctuary for me. It kept me focused!
Aunt Betty was the only family member to ever watch me play basketball game during my senior year. I remember the game, parent’s night. All of the games started at 3:30 during the weekdays. My grandfather and grandmother had regular 8-5 jobs and would not get home until the 6:00 or 6:30.
Most of our parents did not attend games. Most of our parents worked in blue-collar positions. As young people of that era we knew they had to work and their attendance was not mandatory to us. They could not take off time from work to watch us play. Imagine one of our parents informing one their supervisors; “My son is playing in a basketball game this evening and I need to leave at 2:30 in order to make his 3:30 game.” Surely a pink slip would await that parent the next day! We never thought about asking our parents to take off work to watch us play. Still, at the Crane High School games it was standing room only!
Aunt Betty and I had many conversations. Most of our conversations took place late in the evenings. Most of the conversations revolved around me refraining from getting young girls pregnant! Aunt Betty stressed to me that I didn’t need that in my life and to focus on going to college. “Little Henry, make something out of yourself by going to college and getting an education,” Aunt Betty would say. “You know this is what Mamma and Daddy want for you.”
It was her way of saying there is more in life waiting for you and don’t delay the realization of your destiny or purpose in life by bringing kids into the world that you are not capable to taking care of with young girls you don’t intend on marrying.
I can still see her face as she shared her thoughts and insights about the disappointment my grandparents would feel if I brought a child into the world while I was still a child myself. The shame and disappointment was a very heavy burden to carry for a young mind. But Aunt Betty broke it down to me and it made sense.
For some reason, I always knew our conversations were meant for my ears only and so I never shared the conversations with anyone else. I kept them close to my young mind and heart and often reflected on them.
My family played out the strong hand, the royal flush of guilt, shame, and fear of disappointing them. The hand was played with love though. And it worked. What game might I be playing right now today without that strong suit played out years ago?
June 4th, 2010, “Searching Outside Of The Family For Similar Values”, Coach Brown, my conflicts continue!
