June 15th, 2010, “Searching Outside Of The Family For Similar Values” Part XIV, My Senior year at Crane High School, Coach Vaughn, My Conflicts Resolving!
Ernest and Walt had become great friends off the court as well. My family and I were living in K-Town. Ernest was still living in our old community. I took the bus home most times after practice. I did my homework if I had any, or just went to playground and play basketball with Romero, the gang members, and the locals.
Was I was I jealous of Ernest’s relationship with Walt? Honestly? No. I had too much on my mind at the time. I valued being alone in the evenings in my bedroom. Ernest and I had a bond that could never be broken. The amount of time we spent together was not important. What we talked about at those moments when we were together that was more important than quantity spent. I knew he would be a great friend to Walt and I truly hoped Walt would see, feel, and accept what I felt while being with Ernest. During a military battle Ernest would be one of guys you wanted by your side.
As the season progressed some of the team members skipped some of their classes. When Coach Vaughn found out he asked Coach White to gather the team together during a practice break. Coach Vaughn wanted to talk with the entire team about this issue. I remember this day as if it happened yesterday. I was looking into his eyes, feeling this would be something very important. I had no idea of the magnitude of what was about come out of his mouth.
“I know some of you are cutting classes but you are only short changing yourselves. You will need more than basketball in your lives, you will need your education to make it in this world.” The final portion of his speech is what resonated with me.
“Let basketball be a vehicle that you can use to improve your life, use basketball but don’t let basketball use you”.
Later that week we found out that several teachers had approached Coach Vaughn. The teachers told Coach who was skipping classes. Most of teachers were concerned about student athletes’ education. They knew Coach Vaughn was equally concerned that we take education seriously. Teachers and coaches worked together. Both were educators and knew it would take more than our basketball skills for us make it in society.
At that moment basketball took on a whole new meaning.
Coach’s statement was the culmination. It helped me understand my commitment to my grandparent’s values, expressed to me directly by them, and confirmed by Aunt Betty, Aunt Sam, Aunt Ida, school teachers, Coach White all together. Coach’s statement was all that I needed to hear at that moment in my life. I felt his passion, his love for us, his disappointment in the few who were skipping classes as if it were the whole team doing it. For me it seemed like he was talking to me personally. I felt a sense of calmness. Some of the players got it and some didn’t!
We all knew that Walt was struggling with his classes. Walt eventually became ineligible for the remainder of the season. He did attend college in Wisconsin and played on the basketball team. Whenever I talk to Ernest I ask about Walt. Walt and I are great friends to this day!
The last six games of our season I was moved into the starting guard position with Ernest. I played point guard; my natural position was off guard/shooting guard. Ernest was a natural shooter as well and I gladly accepted my role at the point position.
I remember the last game of the regular reason against Harrison High School, another west side school. Our team played well the last five games but during the Harrison game, I made two crucial turnovers that cost us the game. I felt such disappointment in myself. I had let the team down during a critical time. I could see the disappointment in Coach White’s face. Even thought I had resolved my internal conflicts I still felt ashamed of my performance.
The point guard position is a reflection of the coach on the floor. I represented my coach, my high school, and it’s reputation. I failed when the team needed me most! We still made the playoffs. We won the first two-playoff games and eventually lost to the state champions Wendell Phillips High School.
The student body that attended games in Chicago inner city games had great school spirit and had “taunts” that were directed at the opposing teams. After Wendell Phillips had the game wrapped up and during the closing minutes all of the people on their side of the stands all chanted the words to a popular song, “It’s all over, it’s over, it’s over now”, by the Ohio Players.” They repeated the chant for several minutes. They let us know we were done.
Sometimes its through our failures and disappointments that we learn about aspects of ourselves. I have often reflected on the Harrison game and learn to use the experience as a motivating factor and not let the isolated situation define who I am as a person.
But even feeling this shame and disappointment I knew it was not a reflection of me as a whole. That one game was one of the best things to happen to me. It made me stronger.
Later in life it taught me to learn from all of life’s experiences. We human beings seem to understand and grow more through fear and pain rather than through love. Another one of life’s ironies. I later in life learned that it doesn’t have to be that way.
Friday, June 18th, 2010, Basketball season over, Coach White’s Disappointments, Ms Loving, Meeting my biological father and the “Uproar It Caused At Home”.