June 25th, 2010, Melvin “Heavy” Freeman, My Grandfather’s Love, Preparing To Leave Chicago.
Arriving back in Chicago, the first thing I did was complete all the enrollment forms and mail them back to Coach Feely. I contacted Heavy and told him about my trip to Minnesota, being with Coach Vaughn and visiting the College of St. Thomas.
Coach Vaughn and Heavy were very close. Heavy played junior varsity for Coach Vaughn during his freshman year at Crane. Heavy had attended several local colleges over the years. Now Heavy was living back at home in our old community.
I’d never had a direct conversation with Heavy. He was four years older (light years difference) so he was out of my reach during my middle school and high school years. Heavy was one of the legends in our community and at Crane High School. Junior varsity and varsity basketball teams traveled together on the buses to all away games. Heavy knew me by face but never did we have a one on one conversation.
We finally made contact and I met with him. We made small talk for a few minutes. I told Heavy Coach Vaughn wanted me to contact him about my experiences in Minnesota. I told Heavy if I get accepted I was attending the school!
Heavy asked several questions about Minnesota, the coach at St. Thomas and scholarships. I told him St. Thomas was a private university and did not give out athletic scholarships. I had an extra application and gave it to him. Heavy called Coach Vaughn and later made the decision to apply with me.
June 1975. I am preparing to finish high school and share with my family about the possibility of attending school in Minnesota.
I was also emotionally preparing to leave Chicago. I maintained contact with Ms. Loving. I met her in her office one afternoon.
“Ms. Loving, are you still willing to help me contact my biological father who is living in Harvey?”
“Absolutely,” she said. “Just give me his first and last name and I will start right away. By the way, what college are you attending after graduation?”
“I don’t know at this time Ms. Loving. I just returned from looking at a school in Minnesota. If I can get accepted that’s where I will go. Coach Vaughn is living in Minnesota and I hope to hear from the college coach soon.”
After graduation in June all the basketball team members were asking each other about our plans. What colleges if any were we going to attend? I told them I hoped to attend a college in Minnesota where Coach Vaughn is living. We all promised to stay in touch with one another. I knew all I had to do was stay in touch Ernest. Ernest was the point person and would keep in touch with everyone else.
During the latter part of June I had lots of time to reflect on the possibility of leaving my family for the first time. The thought of leaving my grandparents, Aunt Betty, Aunt Ida, Aunt Sam, especially not being able to spend weekends with Sam. My excitement was mixed with profound sadness.
I also felt guilty leaving my aunt’s kids. Their kids looked up to me. I was their role model. I tormented myself:
Am I depriving their kids of a mentor and role model?
Who will help Juan learn to throw a curve ball like my grandfather taught me?
Who will help them with their homework in the evenings like I did?
Who will babysit the kids while Aunt Ida and Aunt Betty went out on some weekends after working hard during the week?
Would I been able to survive without Aunt ‘Yams’ hugs and being in her presence?
After college what will my life be like?
My aunts dedicated so much time, energy, and nurturing to me during those years while raising their own kids. Clearly I was nephew and son at the same time.
Yes, an exciting time for me and also loaded with guilt about college taking me away from my mentoring role.
Tuesday, June 29th, The Call From Coach Feely, My Grandfather’s Love and Ms. Loving’s Help With Locating My Biological Father.
