“Who dares to teach must never cease to learn.”   — John Cotton Dana

Do you have things you feel are true, know are true? I do.

I believe that I’m using my best life skill when I truly listen to others, when I open my mind to other perspectives.

Children have that ability to view the world through the eyes of imagination. In a child’s view, everything is real.

We feel the call to mentor. Let’s graciously encourage others to teach us too. It takes a village to create family, friendship, community, connection.

“The best teacher is the one who suggests rather than dogmatizes, and inspires his listener with the wish to teach himself.” Edward G. Bulwer-Lytton

From Osiris’ inception in 1997, up to the present, here is our mentoring philosophy. We strive to ask our youth this question, “What do YOU believe you need to create a healthy, successful future for yourself? Tell us, because we know you know.”

And then we listen. This has proven inspirational for youth who have had few questions asked regarding what they know about self.  As adults, including family, teachers, and coaches, we may make assumptions that youth don’t know about self, so we often proceed immediately with demands, structure, and restrictions. It’s true; sometimes those are crucial components.

I like to first ask young people to give me life advice on a subject fictional or factual. They hear their own voice: they hear the teacher/mentor in himself or herself.

Amazing how that works. I’ve seen it begin to build a foundation for self-trust in a youth whose self-trust boils in a cauldron of anger and despair.

It’s fun to make New Year’s resolutions! But at Osiris Organization, we are not just making resolutions…

In any discussions regarding Osiris Organization’s present and future, we try to keep our mission front and center.

We’ve added staff to enhance our existing programming. Our vision of new programming, the seeds we’ve planted in the hearts and minds of our staff, supporters, board members, are coming to fruition.

We have networked and connected with people who are stepping up to support our vision.

Our wish is that our youth, staff, founders never forget…”Who dares to teach must never cease to learn.”   John Cotton Dana

I haven’t blogged for quite sometime. I spent the summer finishing my memoir, Manhood From the Hood. Then I spent the fall with editors, designers, marketers.

The book is finally done. It was an amazing experience–emotionally draining and energizing at the same time! I never in my wildest dreams thought that I would write a book. I thought the same thing about co-founding Osiris. I never had a 5-year plan to do that either. It’s curious how life works. It never ceases to astound me. Opportunities arrive in front of us–we pay them no mind or we follow their lead. Either way, life happens!

The staff and I will begin again to post about all the Osiris happenings. Also, I invite you to visit my website at www.manhoodfromthehood.com. We look forward to seeing you on Facebook as well.

Please stay in touch.

Bill R

Around the end of June I got a call from Coach Feely from the College of St. Thomas informing me Heavy and I were accepted.  I was so excited and told Aunt Ida and Aunt Betty immediately.

Aunt Ida said, “Little Henry now do you understand why I was so hard on you about reading and doing your homework”?

“Yeah and I can’t thank you enough.”

“You can thank me later by graduating from college.”

“Ok Aunt Ida, I promise I will graduate.”

“You better. Don’t make me have to make a trip to Minnesota to straighten you out!” she teased.  Aunt Betty was watching and laughing at Aunt Ida but she supported every word Aunt Ida was saying.

One of the most touching moments in my life was one Saturday morning on our front porch. I knew Aunt Betty had informed my grandfather I would attend college in Minnesota. We all knew it was time for me to leave the nest and start manhood!

“Son, I have done all that I can do for you. Be the best man you can be. I will always be proud of you and I love you.”  This was the only time in my life my grandfather ever said the word “love.”  I never even heard him tell my grandmother he loved her but we all knew he did. I respectfully responded, “Daddy, I love you too!”

Suddenly he said, “I need your help to fix that damn garage door again. The hinges need to be replaced.”

“Ok, daddy when do want to do it?”

“Lets do it tomorrow, I want to watch the Sox game this afternoon.” He went on and on about how he could help the White Sox baseball team win if they would just listen to him. He was the quintessential baseball armchair quarterback.  And I loved him!

Men of his generation didn’t use such words.  Words of affection demonstrated weakness and were not “manly.”  His usage of the word “love” shocked me, but at the same time I knew exactly what he meant; he did the best job he could raising me.  This was the farthest he could take me.  He hoped that his values were firmly planted into my young heart, mind and soul. But only time would tell.

Our conversation that Saturday morning only lasted for a few seconds. I have often wondered what made men of his generation uncomfortable using the word “love” to someone they care for? What if other men said this to their sons more often?

By saying this simple word, could it make a difference in relationships all over world between fathers and sons?

This is my last post. I will be spending the next several weeks completing my autobiography. I hope you enjoyed the blogs to date.  In preparation for the completion of the book, I will add more details to each blog. I know you will find the book as thought provoking as the blogs. I hope by sharing my family values will inspire others to find their purpose in life as I have.

Thanks for reading and take care,

Bill Roddy

Arriving back in Chicago, the first thing I did was complete all the enrollment forms and mail them back to Coach Feely.  I contacted Heavy and told him about my trip to Minnesota, being with Coach Vaughn and visiting the College of St. Thomas.

Coach Vaughn and Heavy were very close. Heavy played junior varsity for Coach Vaughn during his freshman year at Crane. Heavy had attended several local colleges over the years. Now Heavy was living back at home in our old community.

I’d never had a direct conversation with Heavy.  He was four years older (light years difference) so he was out of my reach during my middle school and high school years.  Heavy was one of the legends in our community and at Crane High School. Junior varsity and varsity basketball teams traveled together on the buses to all away games. Heavy knew me by face but never did we have a one on one conversation.

We finally made contact and I met with him.  We made small talk for a few minutes.  I told Heavy Coach Vaughn wanted me to contact him about my experiences in Minnesota.  I told Heavy if I get accepted I was attending the school!

Heavy asked several questions about Minnesota, the coach at St. Thomas and scholarships.  I told him St. Thomas was a private university and did not give out athletic scholarships. I had an extra application and gave it to him. Heavy called Coach Vaughn and later made the decision to apply with me.

June 1975.  I am preparing to finish high school and share with my family about the possibility of attending school in Minnesota.

I was also emotionally preparing to leave Chicago.  I maintained contact with Ms. Loving.  I met her in her office one afternoon.

“Ms. Loving, are you still willing to help me contact my biological father who is living in Harvey?”

“Absolutely,” she said. “Just give me his first and last name and I will start right away. By the way, what college are you attending after graduation?”

“I don’t know at this time Ms. Loving. I just returned from looking at a school in Minnesota.  If I can get accepted that’s where I will go.  Coach Vaughn is living in Minnesota and I hope to hear from the college coach soon.”

After graduation in June all the basketball team members were asking each other about our plans.  What colleges if any were we going to attend?  I told them I hoped to attend a college in Minnesota where Coach Vaughn is living. We all promised to stay in touch with one another.  I knew all I had to do was stay in touch Ernest.  Ernest was the point person and would keep in touch with everyone else.

During the latter part of June I had lots of time to reflect on the possibility of leaving my family for the first time.  The thought of leaving my grandparents, Aunt Betty, Aunt Ida, Aunt Sam, especially not being able to spend weekends with Sam. My excitement was mixed with profound sadness.

I also felt guilty leaving my aunt’s kids.  Their kids looked up to me.  I was their role model.  I tormented myself:

Am I depriving their kids of a mentor and role model?

Who will help Juan learn to throw a curve ball like my grandfather taught me?

Who will help them with their homework in the evenings like I did?

Who will babysit the kids while Aunt Ida and Aunt Betty went out on some weekends after working hard during the week?

Would I been able to survive without Aunt ‘Yams’ hugs and being in her presence?

After college what will my life be like?

My aunts dedicated so much time, energy, and nurturing to me during those years while raising their own kids.  Clearly I was nephew and son at the same time.

Yes, an exciting time for me and also loaded with guilt about college taking me away from my mentoring role.

Tuesday, June 29^th, The Call From Coach Feely, My Grandfather’s Love and Ms. Loving’s Help With Locating My Biological Father.

I asked E-Thang, “Hey man, you still interested in coming with me to check out the school in Minnesota?”

“Yeah Nag, let’s check it out!”

Coach Vaughn picked us up at the Greyhound bus station in downtown Minneapolis.  Coach mentioned how cleaned the city was and asked how the other players were doing back in Chicago.  Coach said he loved the quality of life in Minneapolis. The coach at St. Thomas had arranged for us to work out with several current and former players at St. Thomas the following day.

“You guys want to see some of the city before we get to my house?”

“Yeah Coach.”  He drove around the parks and lakes of South Minneapolis.  E-Thang and I could not believe how clean the entire city was in comparison to Chicago.

“Nag, it looks like one big suburb, don’t it,” E-Thank said.

Seeing the lakes and parks was all that I needed.  At that moment my mind was made up. If I get into this school in St. Paul, this is where I would like to live.

We arrive at Coach Vaughn’s home that evening. His wife, son, and young daughter warmly welcomed us.

The next morning we arrive on the campus of St. Thomas. Coach Tom Feely greeted us and thanked Coach Vaughn for contacting him.  In the gym waiting were several of his current and former players.  He matched E-Thang and I together with one of his former players, John Morin, aka “Lou.”

We played 3 on 3 games for about 45 minutes or more.  E-Thang and I did extremely well and enjoyed displaying our skills.  We wanted to make Coach Vaughn proud of us.

An opportunity to leave Chicago, be close to Coach Vaughn, and be in an atmosphere with similar values of my family.  In my young mind it just didn’t get any better than that!

After our workout, I could see the excitement on Coach Vaughn’s face but Coach Feely was drooling with excitement.  He literally asked us to commit on the spot! He made it clear that academics at St. Thomas were taken very seriously. We had showed him we made the grade on the basketball court. Now he told us we had to have made the academic grades high school to be accepted. This is Division III basketball and if we decide to attend we had to be serious in the classroom.

He took us on a tour of the campus and introduced us to some of the other coaches. We stopped by the admissions office and got enrollment applications to take back to Chicago to complete and send back to him. Coach Vaughn mentioned to Coach Feely that we would be in town for a few more days and would be spending time with James Jackson at the University of MN.

Coach Feely asked if we wanted to go and see the Minnesota Twins play.  E-Thang didn’t show any interest but I said yes.  The next day Coach Vaughn’s dropped me off on campus and Coach Feely and I attended a Twins game at the Metropolitan Stadium in Bloomington.  We saw the game from box seats. I immediately thought of my grandfather and knew he would be thrilled to watch a game from box seats.

Coach Feely had contacted an alumnus who had box seats right next to the owner Calvin Griffith.  As a young man I was impressed but my mind was already made up on attending St. Thomas if accepted. During the game Coach Feely and I talked about the importance of education, family values, working hard and the contacts I could make in college that would last a lifetime.

Coach Feely asked me what other colleges did Coach Vaughn contact.

“Macalester and Hamline were contacted but you were the only one to return Coach Vaughn’s phone call. Coach, if they call I will tell them that I’ve already made my decision on attending St. Thomas.” Coach Feely smiled with excitement and so did I.

What startled me most was how could it be possible for my grandfather and Coach Feely to have similar values?  They came from different worlds and were raised in totally different environments. Do similar values transcend racial, economic, political and social barriers?  What is it about family values that cause us to seek others like ourselves?  Is the seeking a verification and validation of those values? Or is it just a human trait wired into our DNA that compels us to seek a sense of belonging to one another?

The next day, E-Thang, Coach Vaughn and I went over to the University of MN to spend time with James Jackson, a Crane High recruit from the previous year.  James was happy to see us and showed us around Williams Arena and his dorm.   He introduced us to Mychal Thompson, Osborne Lockhart, and one of the assistant coaches named Jimmy Williams.

After leaving James and returning to Coach Vaughn’s home, we talked in detail about our experience.   I told Coach Vaughn that I wanted to attend St. Thomas if accepted.   I could sense E-Thang had bigger plans. I knew he wanted to go to a bigger school, Division II or I where basketball was more promoted.  I knew in my heart I wanted nothing to do with Division I or II basketball.  E-Thang said, “Yeah Nag, I can see you at St. Thomas, it’s a better fit for you.” My internal conflicts were being resolved and the calmness was extremely welcoming once I made my decision to attend St. Thomas if accepted.

Upon leaving Minnesota, Coach Vaughn said, “Nag, make sure you get in touch with Heavy to see if he would like to come along with you if you get accepted.”

“Ok Coach, as soon as I get back I will get in touch with him.”

Getting accepted into St. Thomas was the primary thought on my mind.  Sometimes friends are more perceptive than they realize. E-Thang’s knew this was the place for me!

June 25^th, Melvin “Heavy” Freeman And My Grandfather’s Love and Preparing To Leave Chicago.

Coach Vaughn resigned from Crane and moved his family to Minneapolis, MN.  Coach White had made promises of helping us get into colleges. But after basketball season ended he moved on with other things in his life.  We were left to take care of college ourselves.

I knew that my life in Chicago was ending.  Somehow I was able to get Coach Vaughn’s contact information in Minneapolis. I called him immediately.

“Hi Coach Vaughn, this is Nag calling.”

“Hey Nag, how are you doing?”

“Not so good Coach. Coach White was unable to help us get into college. We had a few local junior colleges express interest but I want to leave Chicago. I was wondering if you could contact some of the colleges in Minnesota and ask if they need any players?”

“Ok Nag, let me make some calls into Coach Bill Mussleman at the University of Minnesota and I will get back to you within a few days.”

He knew Coach Musselman because one of our high school teammates, James Jackson, was recruited and enrolled at the University of MN in 1974.

Coach Vaughn called me back within a week and said that Coach Musselman gave him three names of local colleges; Macalester College, Hamline University and The College of St. Thomas. All three colleges were in St. Paul. Coach Vaughn said he had put calls into all three coaches and had not yet heard from them.

“Once I hear from them I will arrange for a few of you guys to come up and meet the coaches. All three of these schools are strong academically. These are private universities that don’t give out athletic scholarship. You should be able to qualify for some financial aide if accepted.”

“Ok, thanks Coach.”

I prepared to leave my family for the first time in my life. They were very happy for me.  I was 18 and was ready for the next exciting phase my life. Amazingly I started feeling calm and could not understand why. I told a few of the players that I had contacted Coach Vaughn and that they were welcome to go to Minnesota with me.  The only one showing any interest was Ernest “E-Thang” Williams.  E-Thang played forward for our team and was an incredible rebounder.

May 1975. Coach Vaughn called and said that he heard back from the coach at St. Thomas College in St. Paul.“Their coach would like for you to come up and work out with some of his players.  When can you come up?”

“Coach I will start working on the funds to take the bus and ask a few other players to see if they have an interest. May we stay with you while we’re there Coach?” “Absolutely you can. I think you will like Minnesota.”

The calmness returned and I finally felt a sense of peace within myself for the first time.  I was headed to a place that supported some of my family values; no athletic scholarships, a small private university that emphasizes education, sports was a distant second and no more conversations about playing NBA basketball as goal!

I never revealed my internal conflicts to Aunt Betty but she could tell that I had something going on inside of me.  It was our late night conversations, after her kids were in bed that helped me realize that my focus and dedication on our values was the right direction to take. I then realized that basketball would be a stepping-stone for something else but I still had no idea what that would be.

During my senior year at Crane, Aunt Betty, Coach White and Coach Vaughn, my relationship with my friend Ernest, were the catalysts moving me into manhood, the process my grandfather lovingly and firmly started.

I can still hear Coach Vaughn’s affirmation; “Use basketball but don’t let basketball use you.”

I knew my grandparents could not afford to send me to college.  So using basketball only as a vehicle to get to college made sense to me.  Basketball now took on a whole new and constructive meaning!

Tuesday, June 22^nd, 2010, Minnesota Bound! E-Thang and I arrive in Minneapolis