Why Osiris Organization?

Tuesday, June 8th 2010, “Searching Outside The Family For Similar Values, Part VII, My Senior Year at Crane High School, Coach White, Aunt Betty, Coach Vaughn and Conflicts Coming To An End!”

Senior year, Coach Vaughn took over the varsity team.  In those days only a certified teacher could be the coach. He was our coach on paper but Crane’s administration brought in Coach White.  Coach White was well known throughout the basketball community.  He coached several of the legends in many summer tournaments over the years.  All his team won leagues, divisions and championships. His knowledge of the game was impeccable. Coach White was our version of Coach Bobby Knight, the famous volatile coach of the University of Indiana basketball team.

I was thinking this would be my year to break out of my confidence slump and have a good senior year and play guard along side Ernest. Fink would be proud!

Throughout my basketball development, Coach White was the most demanding and intense coach I’ve ever met.  He knew the ins and outs of each position like the back of his hand.  When he took over the team everyone had to earn his position on the team. Our team was close; we truly cared about one another. Ernest “E-Thang” Williams, Walter “Jr Man” Green, Ernest “Brother Ern” Leaks, Michael “Mikey” Lewis and Lamar “Big Dipper” Kimbrough.

I can recall Coach White talking to the guards on the art of playing those positions.  The second guard position in particular he went into great detail about the “art of creating space” to get your shot off if there was a need to go one-on-one at a particular time or just coming off “picks.”

“Nag,” Coach called out to me while Ernest and Walt were executing guard drills.

“Basketball is a chess game in motion. You have to use your mind and intelligence to perform consistently and grow as a player,” Coach said beaming with excitement. “First you have to master the fundamentals and then the sky is the limit. Becoming a great basketball player is a long process. It takes dedication and many hours of practice.”

“Nag, you hear television announcers talking about black basketball players as ‘athletic.’ It’s as if we don’t have minds, are not intelligent, and our bodies are on autopilot out of our mothers’ wombs. Announcers only use ‘intelligent’ when describing white basketball players. Sad time in our country, Nag.”

I looked at him in complete consternation! I knew the 1960’s and the civil rights movement had influenced him as well. But what does this have to do with all of the stuff going on inside me?

He spoke at length about how he wanted to teach us to observe and remember the defender’s idiosyncrasies and weaknesses in defensive schemes. What is he talking about? I did not play chess. So what’s chess got to do with anything?

I didn’t make the starting five that year and lost out to sophomore Walter Green.  Walt was a confident player and impressed Coach White as the last starter on the team.  I was disappointed but deep down I understood and accepted his decision. In between practice breaks Coach White would tell us inspiring stories of the players of the past he’d coached at Crane, around the community and country.  Only if we had a tape recorder! His stories were inspiring to our young minds. Coach White was also perceptive of human nature.

I remember profound remarks he made to me senior year. Coach called me over during a break while all the other players were getting water.

“Nag, come over here for a second.”

“Yeah Coach.”

“I’m not sure why you lack confidence in yourself. You have no idea how talented you are. During practice you work harder than any player on the team. You are one of the most respectful young men I have ever met.  One day when you resolve what’s bothering you inside you will be unstoppable. You will make a wonderful husband to a very deserving young lady.”

I felt truly touched by his sincerity!  His tone of voice, his penetrating focus on my eyes sent chills through me. He and I both knew there was something going on inside of me but neither one of us had any answers.

As respectfully as I could muster I said,“ Thanks Coach,” and we continued practice! Nothing else was ever said again. It was one of those moments I’ve never forgotten. At times it feels like it happen yesterday!

I played a little coming off the bench that year, mainly as a substitute at forward and guard position to rest Ernest or Walt.  Ernest and Walt were playing great together at the guard positions and the team did well under Coach White.

I often wondered, “Why am I receiving all Coach’s insights at this time in my life?”  He imparted most of these insights during practice breaks.

Coach Vaughn attended some of our practices with Coach White to help out. I bonded quickly with Coach Vaughn on the sidelines.  Coach Vaughn never said a demeaning word to me.  He reminded me of Ernest in many ways.

Most of the athletes at Crane gravitated to Coach Vaughn, as he was the varsity football coach.  He was a no nonsense type who let you now where you stood. His mere presence commanded respect and he reminded me a lot of my grandfather.

I wasn’t the only player Coach White would talk to during our practice breaks.

Coach White seemed to sense when one of us needed his guidance.  I often wondered and still wonder how his guidance affected the rest of my teammates. I wonder what he said to them? Did it impact them as much as it did me?

Friday, June 11th, “Searching Outside The Family For Similar Values, Part VIII, My Senior Year at Crane High School, Late Night Talks with Aunt Betty, Coach Vaughn and Conflicts Coming To An End!”

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Why Osiris Organization?

Friday, June 4th, 2010, “Searching Outside Of The Family For Similar Values” Part VI, Crane High School, Coach Brown, Aunt Betty, my conflicts continue!

Junior year, I made the varsity team. Ernest was getting lots of playing time off the bench.  This was Coach Brown’s first year as varsity coach and I never played during that year.  Coach expressed his disappointed in my lack of confidence, many times in a very demeaning way but I stayed on and supported my teammates. Coach Brown and I never developed a relationship during my junior year. I was “off the radar” junior year and would not be making a contribution to the team. James Jackson and Andre “Champ” Wakefield were the stars on the team that year.

I mainly spent a lot of time talking to Aunt Betty and helping out my grandfather around the house. My grandfather was the kind of man that would never ask for help.  He would exhaust himself before he would consider asking for any type of assistance.

It was a very tough year for me due to lots of reflection about the many contradictions. I realized that my grandparents were human just everyone else.  One day I answered the phone and it was a bill collector. She asked for my grandfather. He just happened to be walking past me on his way towards the back of our house.

“May I speak to Mr. Roddy please”?

“Daddy, some lady on the phone wants to talk to you.”

“Who is it?”

“May I ask who is calling please?” She said she was so and so from X company.

“Hey Daddy, it’s so and so from X company.” I’m hollering out to my grandfather with the lady on the other end of the line.

“Tell her I’m not here.”

“I’m so sorry Ms so and so but my father is not here.”

“Tell your father that he needs to take care of his outstanding bill with us,” she said ever so politely.

“Daddy, she said it was some kind of bill you owed them.”

My grandfather did not say a word but his piercing look taught me much that evening!

My grandparents never talked to us about money or finances.  Their generation did not share this type of information with their kids. I would often wonder how much money we had.  I would accompany my grandfather to the bank and he would talk to me about paying bills but never shared which ones. Most of the time is was to get money orders to pay bills and I do remember seeing him put some money into a saving account. I never wanted for anything, never lacked clothing or food. But we never talked about the money that provided these things.  Why was it a taboo subject?

Aunt Betty would ask me to take a more active role in mentoring her sons Juan, Lovell (Fat), Lekeif, (Ke Ke), Lenard (Na Na). Juan was her oldest son and he loved to watch me play baseball at our local playground after school.  I did the best I could to always be positive and support them.

High school started to feel like a burden. My classes were not that challenging and I had a study hall on my schedule.  The study halls were “temporary holding pens” as far as I was concerned.  Nobody studied in them so I felt I did need to attend them.  I started to skip study hall. About two weeks later my grandmother met me in the living room and started screaming at me about a letter she got Crane saying I was cutting classes. The letter did not indicate it was a study hall and that I was getting A’s and B’s in all of my other classes.  It just said that I was cutting classes. I had to listen to her rant and rave at me for about 10 minutes before she cooled down.  She had contacted Aunt Ida and Aunt Ida had arrived in the living to room to see what all of the commotion was about.  Imagine my thoughts and feelings as Aunt Ida, aka Klingon Warrior approached me.

“Aunt Ida, please let me explain the letter to you and mamma.  I am not cutting any of my major classes. This is just a study hall the students go to. Nobody does any studying and it’s boring. Why should I have to go to them?”

“You need to go to them because they are on your schedule,” Aunt Ida said. “Mamma and Daddy don’t know the difference because the letter did not say what classes you were skipping. Don’t miss any more study halls and I don’t ever what to see this type of letter coming here again or I will make sure Daddy finds out.”

That’s all she had to say!  I never missed another one.

I had violated an important component of our family values, education, and was quickly brought back in line by loved ones.  There was no negotiation, I was “guilty” for skipping classes and the jury had made their decision. Obey the family values or there will be hell to pay, case closed!

June 8th, 2010, “Searching Outside Of The Family For Similar Values” Part VII, My Senior year at Crane High School, Coach Vaughn, Coach White and my conflicts resolved!

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Why Osiris Organization?

Tuesday, June 1st, 2010, “Searching Outside Of The Family For Similar Values”, Crane High School, Aunt Betty and my conflicts continue!

Ernest and I made the junior varsity team as freshmen at Crane High School.  That same year “Heavy” was a senior and one of our local legends. Heavy’s original position was guard but he was an intelligent player who understood all of the positions extremely well.  The team that year was full of great senior guards; Nate Williams, Donald Brown, Patrick Hazelwood and James Jackson.  Heavy played center that year.  That year the varsity team made it to the Illinois State Basketball Tournament.  We called it “going down state” when a public team from the city made it to the state tournament.

All of the teams made it down state had to endure extreme amounts of competition from other schools in the city and from other regions.  If your team made it out of its region by playing other city schools, then it had to go to the sectionals and then super-sectionals. Then your team was battle tested and ready for the big show down state against the state’s best.

Ernest and I didn’t get much playing time during our freshmen year while on JV but we were just happy to be on the team.  There were so many other negative activities available to young men in K-Town. The pull to join a gang, sell drugs was strong for so many.  It was all around us daily but basketball and my family was a sanctuary for me.  It kept me focused!

Aunt Betty was the only family member to ever watch me play basketball game during my senior year.  I remember the game, parent’s night.  All of the games started at 3:30 during the weekdays.  My grandfather and grandmother had regular 8-5 jobs and would not get home until the 6:00 or 6:30.

Most of our parents did not attend games. Most of our parents worked in blue-collar positions. As young people of that era we knew they had to work and their attendance was not mandatory to us. They could not take off time from work to watch us play.  Imagine one of our parents informing one their supervisors; “My son is playing in a basketball game this evening and I need to leave at 2:30 in order to make his 3:30 game.” Surely a pink slip would await that parent the next day! We never thought about asking our parents to take off work to watch us play. Still, at the Crane High School games it was standing room only!

Aunt Betty and I had many conversations.  Most of our conversations took place late in the evenings. Most of the conversations revolved around me refraining from getting young girls pregnant!  Aunt Betty stressed to me that I didn’t need that in my life and to focus on going to college. “Little Henry, make something out of yourself by going to college and getting an education,” Aunt Betty would say.  You know this is what Mamma and Daddy want for you.”

It was her way of saying there is more in life waiting for you and don’t delay the realization of your destiny or purpose in life by bringing kids into the world that you are not capable to taking care of with young girls you don’t intend on marrying.

I can still see her face as she shared her thoughts and insights about the disappointment my grandparents would feel if I brought a child into the world while I was still a child myself. The shame and disappointment was a very heavy burden to carry for a young mind. But Aunt Betty broke it down to me and it made sense.

For some reason, I always knew our conversations were meant for my ears only and so I never shared the conversations with anyone else.  I kept them close to my young mind and heart and often reflected on them.

My family played out the strong hand, the royal flush of guilt, shame, and fear of disappointing them. The hand was played with love though. And it worked. What game might I be playing right now today without that strong suit played out years ago?

June 4th, 2010, “Searching Outside Of The Family For Similar Values”, Coach Brown, my conflicts continue!

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Why Osiris Organization?

Friday, May 28th, 2010, “Searching Outside Of The Family For Similar Values” Part IV, Ernest Leaks, “Heavy”, Crane High School and the coaches, my conflicts continue!

What high school should we attend? Crane High School was our only consideration.  That’s where all of the “ballers” went so we followed.

Some of my middle school teachers wanted me to go to other more “academically challenging” high schools. I know they were well meaning but they didn’t understand my connection with Ernest.

My grandfather purchased our first home farther out west of the city.  The area was called, “K-Town”, mainly because many of the streets started with a “K”, Keeler, and Kostner etc.  We lived on Jackson Blvd. In the summer of 1972 we packed and moved into our new home.

“K-Town” was an area of Chicago that never felt like home. Constantly on edge, we waited for the next crisis.

I wondered if my grandfather did any research on the area? Why he would purchase our first home in such an area?

I did befriend many youth in the area. The first day at our new house a youth who was my age came to our front porch and introduced himself. Romero was his name and he lived just two houses down from us.

We made small talk for while. “Do you like basketball?” Romero asked me. “Yes I do.” Romero invited me to play with him at the local playground just a few blocks away.  We played one-on-one for a while.

“Okay,” Romero said. “I’ve had enough! Where did you learn to play ball like that?”

I told him about Fink’s influences, Ernest, and the local legends that we had in my former community. But mainly I mentioned the time spent practicing and that I would be trying out for the team at Crane High School. Crane’s basketball reputation was known throughout Chicago.

“Man, Crane always has great ballers! Do you think you are going to make the team?” “I don’t know but I will try out for JV team this upcoming school year, my freshman year.”

Romero was instrumental in introducing me to all of the local basketball players. Some were gang members and they liked me right away because of my basketball skills.   They all wanted me on their teams during pick up games.  As I got older I knew I used basketball as a safety net. The gang leaders all loved basketball too and admired good ballers.  I got to know most of them.

Romero and I were once robbed at gunpoint. We were so scared and mad! We didn’t recognize the two young men but all we would have had to do was to find out their names, then report the incident to some of the gang leaders we knew.  Restitution would have been resolved by gang rules. Romero and I were not the gun carrying type so we let the whole incident go!

But the amount of money and our bruised egos were not worth someone’s life.  Imagine a high school freshman having two different codes of honor. Grandfather’s code; the gang code. Why should a child have to choose? But choose I did.

The area was full of gangs and drive-by shootings.  During the summer months, there was a least one a week.  I felt like I was a soldier (or civilian) in the rice paddies during the Vietnam War!

June 1st, 2010, “Searching Outside Of The Family For Similar Values”, The Coaches at Crane High School and my conflicts continue!

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Why Osiris Organization?

May 25th, 2010, “Searching Outside Of The Family For Similar Values” Part III, Ernest Leaks, Gladstone Middle School and the “ballers”, “Hook”, “Heavy” and “Fats”, the Freemans.

How can I focus on understanding and living my grandfather’s value system and dedicate so much time and energy to my newfound love of basketball? These conflicts burdened me. I really tried to make sense of life.

You might be thinking that a young man my age would be incapable of such introspective thought. In the 1960s era many people were aware of the civil rights movement. Thinking about larger social issues and how they impacted our individual lives was common for young and old alike.

My grandfather had his own opinions.  Frequently he’d express to me that we have to be careful about asking others to help us, or give us this and give us that.

Son, we need to come together and build our own schools if that is what is needed”. “Don’t let me hear or see you asking someone to doing something for you that you can do yourself!”

That era raised our consciousness.   We all dealt with it in different ways. Mine was an introspective approach, trying to live a value system taught by loves ones, establishing friends outside of family, and trying to make sense of it all.

My grandfather’s strict values, independence, self-reliance, education and reading, was emphasized. I kept secret my thoughts and feelings until I was older and able to make sense of them.  My grandfather even forbid me eating at someone else’s house. He felt strongly that I was his responsibility.

So many questions I kept secret but pondered them incessantly:

Why is there so much hatred in the world?

Why are we so cruel to one another?

Why is there so much racial hatred in Chicago?

Is the rest of the world like Chicago?

Why don’t white people live in our neighborhood?

Why do men treat women the way they do?

Why is Aunt Ida making me read so much?

I started to realize that it would take total dedication to obtain the basketball skills of our local legends.

Would I ever be as good as a basketball player as “Fats” and “Heavy”?

Do I really want to dedicate so much time and energy to basketball? To what end?

Will my lack of dedication affect my relationship with Ernest and Fink? Can I live with that?

Sometimes I’d play basketball and my young mind would focus on trying to understand my surroundings, making sense of my family system and not disappointing all of my basketball friends.

These friends made it clear to me that I was talented. Fink’s expectations were high during those years. Fink lived and breathed basketball.  Was I able to balance all of these expectations? I didn’t want to disappoint anyone.

I failed to live up to my basketball expectations.  My confidence started to suffer. I lacked the confidence to excel because I could not bring myself to dedicate all of my energy to basketball.  I endured many demeaning comments during those middle school and high school years.  I had no answers or resolutions because I never shared them with anyone. Not family. Not friends.

Throughout those school years, Ernest remained supportive and encouraging! “Brother Ern’s” loyalty as a friend helped me tremendously.

As a young man who loved his grandparents and aunts, I obeyed their values with out question. But secrets and conflict continued to haunt me.

June 1st, 2010, “Searching Outside Of The Family For Similar Values” Part IV, Ernest Leaks, “Heavy”, Crane High School and the coaches, my conflicts continue!

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Why Osiris Organization?

May 18th, 2010, “Searching Outside Of The Family For Similar Values” Part II, Ernest Leaks, Gladstone Middle School and the “ballers”, Jerome “Hook”, Melvin “Heavy” and “Fats”, the Freemans.

We took Fink’s recommendation to heart when he advised us to watch the other neighborhood players, aka, “ballers”.  “Ballers” are the basketball players that develop their skills to the point where they stand out among their peers.  “Ballers” set the standards to which we all aspired.

The “ballers” lived on the east side of Damen Street. When you crossed over Damen Street basketball took on a whole new meaning. We all felt it. We young men were in awe!

Ernest was good at getting to know all of the important contacts across Damen. He arranged for us to play in tournaments during the summer months.

I remember the first couple of days we ventured across Damen to see the “ballers”.  Ernest knew those who were playing in high school and the up and coming ones transitioning to high school.

Ernest, myself and several other young admires arrive at Gladstone Middle School one weekend to watch an organized basketball game.  Entering the playground area, we could feel the aura of greatness. We were easily inspired!   People gathered around the court watching their every move.

“Ernest, who is that dude that just hit those last two jump shots”?

“Oh that’s ‘Fats,’ he is ‘Heavy’s’ younger brother.”

“Who is ‘Heavy’?”

“He is one of the “refs” and a freshman playing ball at Crane High.  Crane High School is where all of the “ballers” in our community played. ‘Nag’, the whole family is full of “ballers.”

After the game, Ernest approached “Fats” and talked to him about his performance.  Ernest was not the shy type when it came to introducing himself to people he wanted to know.  I stood right by Ernest’s side listening to him interview “Fats” about basketball.  “Fats” would talk about the skills he learned from his older brothers, “Heavy” and “Hook”. He talked about the hours and hours of practice and dedication to develop his skills.

After the conversation, Ernest and I were inspired! We knew what we had to do. We had to put the time in, which meant practice, practice, and practice if we wanted to obtain “Fats” skill level. “Fats” verified what Fink told us about putting the time in on our skills, that there no short cuts to becoming a good “baller”.

We walked back across Damen to our side of the community. Ernest talked about Fats older brothers, “Heavy” and “Hook” and their basketball skills. “Heavy” was a playground legend and a freshman playing ball at Crane High. Ernest went on and on about Heavy’s abilities and about “Hook”, the oldest brother of the Freeman Family.  Earnest said that “Hook” was known to be the greatest “baller” to ever come out of Crane.  He relayed stories from area locals about some of the moves “Hook” did on the playground and at Crane High.

I loved playing basketball and at the same time I was starting to understand my grandfather’s value system. Those values were compatible with Ernest’s values. One in particular was working hard on something you valued!

But those values also created such conflict within me and begin to weigh on my consciousness.  I struggled now. It was a heavy load for a kid to try to unravel.

May 25th, 2010, “Searching Outside Of The Family For Similar Values” Part III, Ernest Leaks, and my conflicts.

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Child Eyes? Adult Wise Part II cont

Child Eyes? Adult Wise Part II cont.

Mother and daughter update from last post!

Mom was released from the hospital, doing well. Daughter took some time off  from work and school while Mom was hospitalized. Daughter has resumed her work and school schedule.

Mother said, “Thank you for helping me save my life.”

Daughter said, “Ms Butler, we’re not alone, we have you in our corner.”

When  there is darkness there is also a light!

Well, last week-end was Mother’s Day. I want to say happy belated Mother’s Day to all

Moms!!!

Today in class the youths talked about Mother’s Day. One of the youth told me, “Ms. Butler, I can be very proud of myself. I was able to get my mother something. Mom wanted a manicure and pedicure. This is the first time I was able to do this without going out on the streets getting the money the wrong way. I now have some dignity in my life. I feel like a man now. I go to school with no problems and I have a job. Thanks to you the Osiris Program.”

“Ms. Butler, I have no mother.  She passed away,” said one young woman.

Then, in a happy voice, “But I did reach out to my grandma. She’s been there for me. She’s almost like a mother to me.”

“Ms. Butler I’d like to do one more thing for Mother’s Day. Ms. Butler I want to wish you a happy belated Mother’s Day. I know you‘re not my Mother but you have been there for me in so many ways to help me through the good and the bad. I have a card for you.”

I was so pleasantly surprised! “Thank you so much!This card means a lot to me.”

“Ms. Butler, I will be moving soon to a different state. I will never forget you and the Osiris Program.”

Her soft voice and her words brought tears to my eyes.

Reaching out to another can make a difference.

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Why Osiris Organization?

May 11th, 2010, “Searching Outside Of The Family For Similar Values” Part I, Ernest Leaks.

I was very involved in sports.  I loved baseball and attending the White Sox games with my grandfather. Our local community little league baseball team played an important role in maintaining those values.  The most important thing little league did was to help me develop a life long relationship with Ernest Leaks.

Ernest and I met in Kindergarten and remain great friends to this day.

What I admire most about him is his loyalty to his family and friends.  When you became his friend he was always there for you.  He was a great judge of a person’s character and I feel this is due to his family’s value system.   I admired how he respected his mother and stepfather.  Our generation learned to respect our elders, both within our family and outside of it. Earnest’s older brothers had many friends in the community and no one “messed” with them.  Ernest’s older brothers friends were the “Klingons” of our community.  The only thing Ernest had to say was that so and so disrespected me.  The “Klingons” quickly got everyone back on track!

Ernest and I attended the same elementary and middle schools. He was outstanding in math.  He could have been a mathematician if he wanted to be. I read a lot so I was very good at spelling.  We literally helped each other with class work without being asked.

It was sports where we bonded. We gravitated to basketball.  I am not sure if we just got tired of all of the organizing it took for the baseball games against other communities.  It did not take young minds that long to want to do something different.  We did not abandon baseball but we played less organized baseball.  There still were location games among friends in the community.

In gym classes we fell in love with basketball. Our gym teacher, Mr. Trouter, would play with us and taught us the rules and had little tournaments for us during our gym period.  That was it; we were hooked on the game. To this day, I know I gravitate to basketball because I just wanted to be with Ernest and learn and grow with him.

Many older youth would help us with our basketball skill development.  We’d stand on the sidelines of the playground and watch them play. One in particular was a guy we called “Fink”.  In Chicago, we all had nicknames.  Fink took a liking to Ernest and me.  I lived only three blocks from Fink so I saw him often.  One day I was in the local community store and Fink was there with friends playing pool.  We started talking and Fink said that I needed a nickname.

He said I looked like a cartoon character called “Ignatz”, pronounced, “ick-nag” in the cartoon series called “Krazy Kat” by George Herriman. This cartoon concept originated as a comic strip in 1930’s but was shown in the 1960’s as a cartoon. Why Fink decided to name me this was just a moment in time that we will never understand. In those days, you never chose your own nickname, someone who was respected had to give it to you. Once you got one, everyone in the community honored it and called you by your nickname. It was a crazy way of showing respect and affection all at the same time!

Please view the Youtube video on a cartoon segment of the cartoon show “Krazy Kat”.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q4rQwrTymdM

All of my friends in the Chicago just called me “Nag”.  The character was a mouse that was always throwing bricks at people. The female character “Krazy Kat“ was in love with the mischievous mouse, “Ignatz”.  Fink said I had the same eyes as the mouse. To this day Ernest will always be “Brother Ern” to me.

Fink was influential in our community but had his personal challenges and demons. When we started playing in basketball tournaments it was Fink who coached and encouraged us.  He taught us about many aspects of basketball but he taught us to stay away from drugs and alcohol.  We all knew he used drugs but we knew he was sincere and he didn’t want us to do anything that would harm our abilities.  He saw basketball as a vehicle for us to more forward with our lives.  I know most will find this hard to believe but in those days even the drug users and dealers encouraged us to stay in school, stay out of trouble and don’t use drugs or alcohol.  What irony!

Ernest and I never judge the dealers and users because they were our role models outside of our family.  They all were great basketball players and we wanted to learn the game.  We did not judge the sources we just wanted to become better players. We never saw them use drugs in our presence but we remembered their words of encouragement.  They seem to have accepted their position and for some reason they didn’t see any other alternatives in their lives. But wanted more for us.  After the games ended, they would hang around, tell us about their lives and the mistakes they made. I’d listen to every word they said. Another Fink in the community was a guy we called “Ing”.  He was bright and insightful about what was happening in our country during that time.

There were many other “Finks” in our community and regardless of their situations they really cared about the young people in the community.  They literally believed in the concept that it “takes a village to raise a child”. If we got got out of line, they were the first ones to discipline us verbally. They too were influenced by the era in which we were raised.

Not all the “Finks” in our community used drugs or were dealers. Most were hard working family men who worked blue collars jobs. Some were attending local high schools.  On the weekends, they all played basketball in our community. We were their audience on the sidelines watching their every move!

Fink often told us that we had to start watching some real “ballers” and encouraged us to start going down the Gladstone Middle School playground. Gladstone was attached to a city recreational facility and had organized leagues and some of the best players in the city played there in the summer. Most of the local legends lived blocks from the school.

Two years ago Ernest called me and told me someone robed Fink at gunpoint and shot him dead because he didn’t give them the money fast enough!

After a long conversation with Ernest about Fink and his influence on our young minds growing up during those years we concluded our conversation.

That night I cried!


May 18th, 2010, “Searching Outside Of The Family For Similar Values” Part II, Ernest Leaks, Gladstone Middle School and The Legends, “Hook”, “Heavy” and “Fats”.

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Why Osiris Organization?

May 7th, 2010,  Loving Mother, Irene Hoskins

Birth is a humbling, awesome experience to witness. A precious gift.

I am here a living and breathing because of my mother Irene.  Growing up I did not live with her. I did visit her and my siblings in Michigan during summer vacation from school.

Irene is the oldest daughter.  After giving birth to me in 1957 she later married, moved to Michigan and had six more children.

Why I stayed with my grandparents rather than go to Michigan with Irene is not important to me.  So many family members in Chicago showered me with love. Mother Irene and I know we love one another dearly. Long ago I’ve accepted that my aunts and grandparents cared for me very well.

I had sandy brown hair as baby.   “Sandy” is my nickname among family in Michigan.  I feel love and affection when I hear “Sandy”.  It just brings a big warm smile to my face.

Irene was the first in our family to get a degree from a university.  She worked in the Michigan school system. Her husband, Osbe Hoskins Sr. worked in the construction industry. My mother and I have a loving relationship to this day. It’s a special bond based on mutual respect.

My six siblings, Calvert, Joanne, Osbe Jr, Myron, Rose and Carol Lyn were great students and formidable athletes in high school and college.  Osbe Jr and I think that all of the athleticism in our family came from our grandfather and Irene.  My siblings were outstanding in the classroom as well as the field.  They were great in almost any sport that they participated in which included, football, baseball, volleyball and track and field.   They are in Halls of Fames in high school and in colleges.

Cal, Osbe Jr and Myron are wonderful fathers to their children.  I always try to call them on Father’s Day to express how proud I am of them as fathers. Great fathering is a family tradition.

I wasn’t as close to my sisters Joanne, Rose and Carol Lyn as we were growing up. But now that we have gotten older we all are much closer and I enjoy talking with them.

Even though I was not raised with my brothers and sisters, I have a very deep connection with all of them and they know that I love them.

Much love to the wonderful lady that gave me life, Irene Hoskins.

May 11th,  Searching outside of the family.

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Child Eyes/Adult Wise Part II

When you walk out your door you never know what life can bring to your day.

One morning earlier this week I pulled into a parking lot. Out of nowhere I was surrounded by police cars. I soon realized that they were pursuing the vehicle next to me. Police arrested the youth in that car. I watched the bewildered young woman cry as the police arrested her. Her whole life changed in that instant. I felt so sad for her but I said to myself, “Maybe I’ll see her in one of the correction centers so Osiris can give her some help and guidance.”

Later that afternoon I received a call from one of the youth I mentored some years ago. She’s remained on the right path, still doing well in school and working too. She said her mother is sick and had been missing for a day. During our conversation her mother entered the room screaming. The young woman cried not knowing what to do. I know her and mother very well so I went by her place to help. We got Mom to the hospital.

The young woman was emotional and crying all the way back home. “I don’t have anyone else, Ms. Butler. I’m so lost without my mom!” I told her I would help her through this until her mother gets better and returns home.

As you can see you never know what is really going on inside a home, or in a young person’s mind. This distraught young woman  thinks she is all alone. But she is not alone. I’m so glad she reached out. I told her that. Because a youth with support  will always stay on the right path.

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